Something I live by…


If you stop it’s hard to start moving again… Even when people and life give you rough terrain, ride on through!

Grit your teeth and close your eyes, pushing through to the easier ground ahead.

I am trying…


Another year older


But am I wiser? I doubt it!

March marks two things that are close to my heart. This year, for some unknown but brilliant reason, the day that raises awareness for my condition happens to also be my birthday!

Almost like I planned it, huh?

I know it’s a UK thing and all that, but I’m still going to get a few Americans to wear some green. Not only for me, also for fellow CP’ers that have defied the odds and accomplished great things, even though we weren’t expected to live out our first week!

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2016 – The Year of Hell


What can I say…

The year started off badly and got steadily worse as it continued. Aside from the deaths of MANY inspirational people, in my opinion at least, the world took another step toward destruction.

Intolerance and hate, discrimination and single mindedness are on the rise. I saw a man openly and publicly spew bile and hate about different Hot Button topics, then get elected Leader of the Free World.

In my own country, people voted for something they didn’t fully understand and are now regretting it. That decision was also made on the basis of hate and intolerance also, in my opinion.

Life continues to get harder for the most vulnerable, and nobody gives a damn.

I’m glad to see the back of this awful year… Sad thing is, the future looks darker than it did a year ago.

The near future is very uncertain for me, but pup and I will press on as usual.

My heart still belongs to Dove, something that won’t change anytime soon. We’ve had somewhat of a reconciliation, hopefully that will continue to go well.

Thanks to those who stuck with me, I love you all and wish you a happy 2017.

**Personal Motivational Message**


At the end of the day…. I know I am a good person.
I am far from perfect but my intentions are good; my heart is pure, and I love with everything I have.
Because of these things,
I am worth it. Always have been always will be.

This concludes this PMM, brought to you and funded by Draco’s ‘Let Us Get through Christmas Smiling’ Foundation, we return you now to your usual kinky smut that you normally read…

For the Vanilla Crowd, a word from our four-legged sponsor with a vital reminder for the Holiday Season:

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DISCLAIMER: All at ‘Dracos Journal’ do not recommend/condone feeding junk to dogs, don’t be dummies!! 😀 

Happy Thanksgiving USA Friends!


I just wanted to give thanks to my WP community friends for supporting me through this recent rough patch. You have all been so good to me, and I appreciate it more than you all know.

I am still not sleeping very much. Thoughts overwhelm me when the lights go out. A lot of why and how questions keep my brain on overdrive. Anyway, I don’t want to repeat things, you all know I’m a bit of a mess right now.

I just wanted to acknowledge your guys being there.

Eat well, love well and be safe, I love you all x

Pup wanted me to add a little message from her…

What are the odds?


Considering Dove’s lack of contact before we broke up yesterday, common sense tells me that, even though she says she wants to remain friends, not to expect her to be too active in keeping a connection with me. 

Exes say they want to be friends don’t they? But what are the odds of it actually happening?

I mean I’d love it to be a good outcome but at this point in time, it’s too soon to say.

I have had to use all of my willpower not to crumble several times today, I put so much of myself into the relationship that I am more than a little lost.

I’m scared of falling back into the darkness.

She is handling this far better than I am…