Taking The Hits

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Taken from Google 

 

Image result

Taken from Google

 

 

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Tattoo Day

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Today is the day I get my Dove tattoo, by the time this goes up the first session will already be done… I am expecting an emotional experience this time for obvious reasons. Add to that the emotion of recent weeks and it should all come to the fore today.

I haven’t blogged anything else substantial lately because my thoughts have been about one thing. Even if I write them down, it hasn’t been helping, I’ve written pages and pages of things but the more I write, the more it flows.

Most nights I sit in bed writing internal dialogue trying to find something that expresses how I’m feeling. Current writings are quite aggressive, dark in some parts but it’s mostly unresolved feelings, things I think but don’t say.

It’s not a painful feeling anymore, it’s frustration…

I talk but nobody hears. I rage and nobody cares…

I’m learning to manage my feelings better but it will take time I guess.

February Blues

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I’m not really a fan of February because of Valentines bull crap, if I wasn’t already depressed enough, I sure will be by the time this month ends.

I have to watch couples gushing over each other and have all the commercial symbols of love thrust in my face everywhere I go.

Love has shaken me to my very core and almost brought me down completely, it raised me higher than I’ve ever been before only to let me go to see how hard I’d hit rock bottom.

And still I get up and keep going because I believe in what I feel, even if nobody else does…

I love hard and I’m not sorry for it…

Dark Prison

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Down in the darkest depths, a Beast stirs after a long and restless hibernation. His chains rattle and clink as he rolls over a little, a familiar scent catching his attention. It was dark in the cage and his eyes stung by the lack of light.

“Can it be?” he growled quietly as his senses focused on a mysterious figure standing outside his cage, “It can’t be… My mind has played tricks on me for some time now, her smell lingers, but she’s never there. She’s gone, flown away and left me down here with just memories and these chains of love!”

Beast shook the chains at the figure in the dark, whacking his wrist cuffs on the cage bars, “See? Just cold steel… Only the warmth of love keeps me alive in here… I know she thinks of me more than she says, I can feel it. I think she comes to me when I’m sleeping, to look at me in here, imagining what might happen if she woke and released me.”

The Beast sniffed the air, trying to find the scent of his beloved Dove, roaring as if calling out to her, “Has she left me in this cage forever? Does she fear me? Find me repulsive? To these questions, I have no answers… I shall call and call to her for eternity if need be, she will feel me, where ever my Dove is, she will sense me!”

He roared out once again, louder than before, calling the one he loves from the very heart of his soul. Charging into the darkness, in the direction of the familiar scent, only to crash his massive frame into solid bars with a deafening thud, his prison was still intact, holding him there broken and bleeding, for who knows how long.

Painfully, the Beast shuffled to his knees, his ribs broken and breathing ragged, he looked up at the sky. The moon was bright and big in the night, for a moment he basked in its glow before letting out a howl so Earth shattering, even the twinkling stars shook in the blackness.

“I need you!” he bellowed upwards, choking on his tears and blood, “I ache to be safe in your arms! Hear me, my Dove! Save me from this dark prison like you did once before! Release your Beast, tend to him, feed him, love him like I know you want to…”

Soon, the Beast’s injuries overcame him once again, and with no Dove to feed on, he slipped back into his pit of unconsciousness.