A Sudden Realisation 

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I look over at the pup laying beside my wheelchair on the beach and whisper, “Come on big girl, before I get stuck and you have to pull me out…”

We had a nice day of sunshine (a rare beast in England as everyone knows!!) so I thought I’d spend a day training Pup in different surroundings, that and I needed time to get away from the things going around my mind.

I smile as we wrestle to get off the sand back to regular ground, maybe this wasn’t something I should have done alone, but you live and learn don’t you?

Pup is now excellent off leash and stays glued to my left side regardless, “Come on Dad, there’s a seagull over there!!” Said the excited look on her face, “Okay, okay…I’m going as fast as I can!!” I laugh at the urgent whimpers.

We got half way and I released her from command with a simple, “Go play!” And she shot off like a rocket about 100 feet away from me before turning to look at me and bolting back, kicking up sand happily. 

As I moved slowly through the sand, I watched Pup run circles around me and realised something. There would have been NO WAY IN HELL I would have driven myself onto such tricky terrain or even considered going to a beach before I got my dog.

And it hit me…

It’s started and I didn’t even realise…She’s taking me out of my comfort zone and I wasn’t even aware…

I started to sob and laugh at the same time.

“I’m on a beach, Pup!” I said as she darted up to me, jumping up into my lap as she spotted the tears running down my cheeks. Burying my face in her neck, all my bottled up emotions came flooding out and I clung to her for dear life as I broke down.

Though my worries are still there, I feel better with my companion and can battle on a while more. 

30 Days of Truth – Day 5 – Something you hope to do in your life…

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Hey Guys,

Another day of Truth and it’s an easy one…

I hope one day to have a family, a loving (submissive and if it’s not being too greedy, masochistic babygirl) wife, kids and a couple of dogs. It’s my main life goal to be honest. I’m not interested in wealth (although a little wouldn’t hurt, would it?), material things and all that stuff. I’d trade it all in for a family, even if I had it…

Those of you that have one, oh how I envy you. Yes there must be hard times but surely all the love makes up for it? 

30 Days of Truth – Day 4 – Something you have to forgive someone for…

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Hey Guys,

Another day of truth, this is a difficult one…

Simply because, I can never hold a grudge and have a very forgiving heart. Most who know me would say, “What about the issues with your Dad?”

In response to that, I say, he’s my dad and I love him regardless of past events.

So in a nutshell, if there was someone I needed to forgive, it’s already happened.

Some might say that’s a little dangerous, but hey, life is dangerous at times.

What she said!

  

30 Days of Truth – Day 3 – Something you have to forgive yourself for…

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Hey Guys,

Another day of truth, and a hard one at that.

Something you have to forgive yourself for…

Plain and simply, moving out of my dad’s house as soon as I turned 18, I couldn’t take the shit I was getting. I was a nervous wreck and I didn’t want to be here. For so LONG, I let his controlling ways make me miss out on life, so when the opportunity arose to get out of it I bailed. Leaving my siblings was hard for me, even though they are all grown up and understand why I did it, I still hate myself for it.

I promised to never leave them and I did, at the first chance I got.

30 Days of Truth – Day 2 – Something you love about yourself….

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Hey All,

I know this is a little late but I’m sticking to my promise to do this! Hope you’re all well…

Something you love about yourself…

Well I am loving, caring, compassionate and generous, or so I am told. I love that I have the imagination to create my own escapism, it has gotten me through some tough times!

Short, sweet and to the point, just how I like my women too!

30 Days of Truth – Day 1 – Something you hate about yourself…

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Hey Everyone,

Some of you may have seen this on other people’s blogs, and I thought this would be a good tool for reflection. Also (as seconded by my dear friend Cinnamon) it is a good chance for any prospective lady friends out there, to get to know me better. So here goes…

Something I hate about myself?

This one is easy…My negative attitude towards myself and how I assume people perceive me. It is something I am currently working hard to get under control, but of course, Rome wasn’t built in a day…

I’ve heard many times, that if you put out negativity, you get it back tenfold. And to all those people that passed me that bit of wisdom, I believe you… I always did. But when you’ve been told that you’d never be appealing to anyone since the day you understood words, it becomes engrained. Only now, years on, am I starting to build a life I’m not ashamed of. I’m going to have bad days, but know this, I’m rising from the ashes slowly, I am close to being reborn…

I will rise a new person….eventually! 😉

 

Looking for Guidance

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NOTE: The following post refers to Psychics, Mediums, Spiritualism and the like. I am about to write about my PERSONAL experiences and that’s where it ends. The following post is not a bash on any other opinions/beliefs or it is not a promotion of this belief. It is about me and ONLY me…


Over the past few months, I’ve gone back to my life’s drawing board and I am actively reassessing and changing things. One of the major areas of reassessment is my beliefs.

My family are Catholic and are baptized as such, I am baptized Catholic too, but as I got older, ‘certain’ experiences I had changed my opinion. These experiences MAY come out in future posts if I get curious subscribers but I am not just going to put them up and be open to possible ridicule.

I am a out and out Spiritualist, so I believe in (some) psychics, mediums and all that stuff. I meditate and communicate with my Spirit Guides on a daily basis through various methods.

The reason I am writing this post is because I have asked my Guides one simple question: If I write about this and openly publicise this, will I lose the readers I have now?

Their answer was, as it always is, to the point and a big relief to me: If they don’t like it, they won’t read those parts!

So, in order for me to properly process and continue this year of growth, you may see more posts along the same vain. If you don’t like it, that’s fine, if you do, even better…

It won’t be a regular thing…just as and when I need too.