No words to say except, I love her… Always and Forever x
No words to say except, I love her… Always and Forever x
Today I went to my local tattoo place, where I’ve gotten all my other body art in the past. I use the same artist every time and I’ve never been disappointed, her work is flawless and always manages to perfectly illustrate how I’m feeling at the time. On previous visits, I’ve toyed with the idea of getting Pup’s paw print on my chest with her name and the date we were partnered together.
This will happen now, on Pup’s birthday in June. That way, she’ll be with me no matter what, just as she should be.
The other piece I asked to be drawn up was a Dove of some sort. We couldn’t come up with a solid design choice there and then, so the artist is going to work on some ideas and get back to me.
Why am I getting it?
To remind me it’s possible to love someone so deeply, that every fibre of your being can hurt, whether they feel the same or not. I feel it, I felt it, it exists. I don’t care what people think or if they think it’s silly.
She’s part of me and I’m part of Dove, whether she wants to admit it or not. Love is real, no matter how many miles are in between.
Down in the darkest depths, a Beast stirs after a long and restless hibernation. His chains rattle and clink as he rolls over a little, a familiar scent catching his attention. It was dark in the cage and his eyes stung by the lack of light.
“Can it be?” he growled quietly as his senses focused on a mysterious figure standing outside his cage, “It can’t be… My mind has played tricks on me for some time now, her smell lingers, but she’s never there. She’s gone, flown away and left me down here with just memories and these chains of love!”
Beast shook the chains at the figure in the dark, whacking his wrist cuffs on the cage bars, “See? Just cold steel… Only the warmth of love keeps me alive in here… I know she thinks of me more than she says, I can feel it. I think she comes to me when I’m sleeping, to look at me in here, imagining what might happen if she woke and released me.”
The Beast sniffed the air, trying to find the scent of his beloved Dove, roaring as if calling out to her, “Has she left me in this cage forever? Does she fear me? Find me repulsive? To these questions, I have no answers… I shall call and call to her for eternity if need be, she will feel me, where ever my Dove is, she will sense me!”
He roared out once again, louder than before, calling the one he loves from the very heart of his soul. Charging into the darkness, in the direction of the familiar scent, only to crash his massive frame into solid bars with a deafening thud, his prison was still intact, holding him there broken and bleeding, for who knows how long.
Painfully, the Beast shuffled to his knees, his ribs broken and breathing ragged, he looked up at the sky. The moon was bright and big in the night, for a moment he basked in its glow before letting out a howl so Earth shattering, even the twinkling stars shook in the blackness.
“I need you!” he bellowed upwards, choking on his tears and blood, “I ache to be safe in your arms! Hear me, my Dove! Save me from this dark prison like you did once before! Release your Beast, tend to him, feed him, love him like I know you want to…”
Soon, the Beast’s injuries overcame him once again, and with no Dove to feed on, he slipped back into his pit of unconsciousness.
It is just like me to fall head over heels in love with someone who lives in another country, I never do things by half. But they say you can’t help who you fall in love with, right?
I’ve had crushes before and relationships of various lengths and always felt a fondness for the person but was it what I consider to be love? No…
Baby is different, I knew that from the moment we met…
She needed me as much as I needed her… I still think we need each other and we always will to some extent. Baby would never openly admit that though I don’t think…
No matter what I do or what she does to me, I cannot imagine a life without her in it. So I suck it up and take whatever comes my way. I am insane for doing it, I know… But we’ve been through so much, it can’t all be for nothing, surely?
Yes she breaks my heart with some of the things she does, at times I think she feels that she’s doing the right thing but ultimately it just makes her situation worse and she ends up regretting it I think…
A year or so ago, I’d say I would’ve had a decent idea what she was thinking, now not so much…
She’s been through a lot recently, it has changed her in my opinion but it would anyone. I believe she sees me as stability because she admitted herself that I kept her that way.
I believe I still have her heart though, as much as she sometimes wishes it wasn’t true, I think she knows it too… My heart will always be with her, I know that…
Eventually, we end up talking again, we both can’t resist it. And it’s obvious I am fulfilling some things for her that others can’t or won’t.
All I know is, we need each other whether we like it or not, so love brings us back.
You are my Dove, Always and Forever xxx
The anger and pain I feel right now is overwhelming. I can’t breathe and I’m shaking from emotion.
I want to break things, scream and shout. But I won’t, I’ll internalise everything til I burst. I have to calm down before I hyperventilate.
Where’s Pup? Right beside me like always… I’m just too angry to see… Shit! I just broke my bank card because I am shaking so badly and trying to act like nothing is wrong!
What did I even go into the fucking store for in the first place! I just hope nobody talks to me because I’m not in any frame of mind for chitchat.
To have someone that you thought you were in a long distance relationship with tell you they’ve been seeing someone else without officially ending it with you, hurts a lot.
I don’t know why people can’t be honest. I’ve learned from this that people only need you until something better comes along. Devotion and loyalty count for nothing it seems. Out of sight, out of mind obviously.
The excuse of “it just happened ” doesn’t wash with me because I was strung along for so long, whilst you were blanking me and getting cozy with someone else.
I hung around throughout all your excuses, only to have everything I’ve been there with you for, thrown back at me. The lies were unnecessary, same as the constant blanking and ignorance.
Then you try to make me end things because you wanted an easy way out. You could’ve just told me…
You had to disrespect me after everything I’ve done for you, breaking me down until I’m questioning everything about my life. Now I feel worthless and broken.
Did I really deserve that?
Was it necessary?
Are you happy?
I brought this on myself though, I gave you a second chance and this time you do me worse than before.
I’m a fucking idiot but I damn well deserve better than what you did.
No I haven’t slept and it’s 4 30 am. You have destroyed me when there was no need whatsoever.
I hope you’re happy…